I Want to Wait
We all have different reasons why we want or don’t want to have sex, but the decision should always be up to you. And if you don’t want to have sex, you’re definitely not alone. About half of teens in this country haven’t had sex when they graduate from high school. The younger you are, the more seriously you should think about waiting.
You might feel pressured to have sex before you are ready, or feel embarrassed to say that you don’t want to have sex, but I can tell you, I totally respect my friends that make the decision to wait. No one should ever pressure you to have sex or make you feel bad if you don’t feel ready. And hey, there are lots of good reasons to wait, even if you have already had sex before. One more thing: my Aunt Lucia says that drinking and doing drugs can affect your ability to make healthy decisions—like not having sex if you don’t want to. So if you think you want to wait, you should try to stay away from situations that might make you change your mind.
Some people call the decision not to have sex, or to wait to have sex, abstinence but this word can mean lots different things to different people. Some people use the word abstinence to mean not having vaginal sex, or not having any kind of sex (vaginal, oral or anal). Some people call themselves ‘abstinent’ when they decide not to have sex, even if they have had sex before. Some people want to wait until marriage before having sex, others just want to wait until they’re older and in a serious relationship.
If you need help or advice, it’s important to find someone to talk to who you trust to be open and honest, and give you the right information. Parents, friends, siblings, cousins, a cool aunt or uncle, teachers, religious figures, your doctor or nurse and counselors are just some of the people you can go to for advice.
Don’t be afraid to find someone you trust and ask them the questions that are on your mind. I always talk to my Aunt Lucia when I need help. She’s always open to my questions and doesn’t judge the decisions I make. She has also offered to help me talk with my parents, so I think I’ll take her up on it.
And if you don’t want to have sex, you don’t have to explain your decision to anyone. If someone asks you, you can just say what you feel comfortable saying. You might feel more comfortable talking about your decision if you practice by saying it out loud a few times first, or writing it down.